He Will NEVER Cum Again
You are the cutest person I have ever met in my whole life

You are the cutest person I have ever met in my whole life

3 second color video loop.  Naked man is laying on his back, arms at his sides. A woman wearing a red nighty is sitting on his face, her left hand is pinching and squeezing his nipple, while her right hand is whipping his erect cock. He twitches and jerks as the switch hits his cock.
I remember being here, before.  But I don’t recall seeing the camera. 
…and I remember licking that much harder with each swat.

3 second color video loop.  Naked man is laying on his back, arms at his sides. A woman wearing a red nighty is sitting on his face, her left hand is pinching and squeezing his nipple, while her right hand is whipping his erect cock. He twitches and jerks as the switch hits his cock.

I remember being here, before.  But I don’t recall seeing the camera.

…and I remember licking that much harder with each swat.

Australian Kiss
Same as French Kiss … but down under

Australian Kiss

Same as French Kiss … but down under

Eat Pussy!
Become a Vaginatarian

Eat Pussy!

Become a Vaginatarian

Color image of a man and a woman sitting on the edge of a bed.  She is wearing thigh high stockings, panties, and tight tee shirt over her ample breasts.  Her long dark hair is in ponytails tied with a red ribbon, she is wearing white linen gloves. 
He is sitting at the edge of the bed, his hands in the air, apparently tied over his head,  He is completely nude, his eyes and his cock both leaking clear tears of frustration.  
She is sitting behind him, her  breasts against his back, her thighs against his thighs.  She has two fingers of one hand in his mouth and the other gloved hand on the head of his cock.

Caption: I’m going to edge you until your brain leaks out your cock, edge addict

Color image of a man and a woman sitting on the edge of a bed.  She is wearing thigh high stockings, panties, and tight tee shirt over her ample breasts.  Her long dark hair is in ponytails tied with a red ribbon, she is wearing white linen gloves.

He is sitting at the edge of the bed, his hands in the air, apparently tied over his head,  He is completely nude, his eyes and his cock both leaking clear tears of frustration. 

She is sitting behind him, her  breasts against his back, her thighs against his thighs.  She has two fingers of one hand in his mouth and the other gloved hand on the head of his cock.

Caption: I’m going to edge you until your brain leaks out your cock, edge addict

My fingertips will
tiptoe across your goosebumps
and leave more behind.
I’m a pervert, but in a romantic way.
Julie Delpy  (via rabbitinthemoon)
Eternal love

Eternal love means he never comes.

As I get older my self image never grows past 20 something. 

Being in love with you does the same to my image of you.

Decades come and go, and yet you are still more erotic than any image on the web.

Color photo of a man and woman snuggling in bed.
Caption:
I LOVE it when she lays on top of me, exhausted from all the orgasm I’ve given her, as my cock and balls throb from another day of denial.

Color photo of a man and woman snuggling in bed.

Caption:

I LOVE it when she lays on top of me, exhausted from all the orgasm I’ve given her, as my cock and balls throb from another day of denial.

Title:

throw away the map…

get wonderfully lost…

Image:

Color photo of a man and woman in pickup, both fully dressed.  He is sitting in the center of the bench seat, facing the front.  She is straddling him, face to face, as she leans down to kiss his lips, her hands on his shirt. He has one hand on her hip the other on the back of her neck.

Remind you of anything?

(A gay couple has just met up in the restaurant and kissed each other upon arrival. Another customer has seen this and is obviously angry.)
Angry Customer: “Damn f**s.”
Gay Man: “Excuse me?”
Angry Customer: “You heard me, you little s***. Let’s not make this into some little pride protest, okay? I have to accept that you’re going to live your lifestyle, and you have to accept that I’ve got freedom of speech.”
Gay Man: *quietly* “Is it too much to ask for a little human decency?”
Angry Customer: “Human? Listen up, what you’re doing is not human. I think I have the right to determine what I think is human.”
(The manager shows up. He’s a quiet Italian man who I assume is conservative due to the Christian imagery and portrait of Reagan he keeps around the restaurant.)
Angry Customer: *to the owner* “Hey, can you move either them or us to another table?”
(Instead of responding to the angry customer, the owner instead speaks to his wife.)
Owner: “I’m sorry ma’am, but we have a strict ‘no pets’ policy in my restaurant.”
Wife: “Uh, I, uh, what? I don’t have a—”
Owner: “Well, according to your talking monkey over here, I can determine who’s a human and who’s not. You bring an animal into my restaurant; I gotta assume it’s your pet.”
(The angry customer storms out. When I left, the owner was giving his description, and copies of security camera footage, to the biggest crowd of police I’ve seen. Apparently it’s a bad idea to not pay your bill at a restaurant that gives free coffee to cops.)
One: Buy condoms. Buy them and keep them with you at all times, and use them before you are asked to use them. And use them every time. The peace of mind you allow your partner will free her to be vulnerable with you, and that, my son, is exactly what sex is about. Condoms are sexy. In fact, call buying condoms foreplay.
(Footnote: If you are too embarrassed to buy condoms, you are not ready to have sex.)

Two: Kissing is not merely foreplay. Spend entire evenings making out on the couch while fully clothed. Believe me, dry-humping rocks.

Three: Sex is not just about friction. It’s about emotion. Stop trying to find her clitoris and find her heart. Because then she’ll help you find her clitoris.

Four: If you really wanna know how to please a woman, ask her how she masturbates. Then do that. A lot. If she claims she doesn’t masturbate, offer to take her shopping for a vibrator so you can both learn the vocabulary of her body together.

Five: Don’t put anything in her butthole you wouldn’t want in your own.
(Footnote: Try a pinky finger, it’s kinda awesome.)

Six: When you go down on her—and you will go down on her, and if you are my son, you will be amazing at it—tell her how good she tastes. Stop in the middle and kiss her deeply so she knows how good she tastes. Do the same when she goes down on you.

Seven: A simple Google search will yield 1,327 euphemisms for male masturbation, yet only 23 for female masturbation. If guys spent less time jacking off and more time jilling off, this world would be a happier place.

Eight: Everything you need to know about the importance of the clitoris is in the movie Star Wars. You are Luke Skywalker piloting your penis-shaped X-Wing Fighter deep inside her trench. Remember: seventy percent of all Death Stars cannot be blown up through penetration of the trench alone. It must be through focused contact with that little exhaust port at the top of the trench. Otherwise, any explosions you experience will be merely Hollywood special effects.

Nine: Just because you come doesn’t mean she has, so don’t you dare come before her. Focus completely on your partner. Don’t worry about gettin’ yours, you’re a guy. You always get yours. Your job is to make sure she’s gettin’ hers.

Ten: If sex with your partner lasts no longer than this poem, you are not making love. You are masturbating with her body instead of your hand. Shame on you. Go back to step one. You’ve got a lot of learning to do.
Love, Dad.
Big Poppa E., “How To Make Love”  (via punkrockmermaid)

The star wars bit won me over <3 (via lainerblue)
The best things in life make you sweaty.

The best things in life make you sweaty.

Wartenberg wheel

A package came in the mail Yesterday.  It contained a Wartenberg wheel. My wife ordered the device and was rather too gleeful when it arrived.  She is doing morning stuff and has me waiting for her command to join her in the bedroom. It looks sharp and I am little bit afraid, she is the one after all who switched to extra strength Bengay to treat her balls (I just carry them around for her, and make sounds as she plays with them) with when she slaps them until they are sore.

Edit: She is in the bedroom, and I hear metal clinking, she has made a couple trips hauling stuff into the bedroom.  I am getting more nervous. Not sure what is going to happen but it sounds like she has put a lot of thought into my next torments.


Edit2: She came into the den just as I finished writting the last edit, and asked me what I was doing. So of course I told her, and she had me read this post to her, and it made her smile.  Then she sent me off to the garage to find rope… Which I found for her, both nylon clothes line and hemp rope.  Now she has sent me back to the den, to await her call.

Edit3: She stands beside wearing only panties, and watches as I make this last entry. Don’t know when I will be back…